Monday Evening Mersea Island Hash House Harriers at East Mersea
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| Becci and Callum setting off (in lovely sunshine) to set the hash |
Becci and I had been asked if we would set our first Hash here in East Mersea. This would make us 'virgin Hares' until the run was over and it was with some trepidation that we set out on Monday morning with a long list of 'how to's'.
On Friday I had started the ball rolling by popping in to The Dog & Pheasant to ask if they would mind us starting our run from the Pub and using the car park and when we came back we would come in for a drink. This seemed to cause a lot of consternation and finally a grudging 'ok' was given. Not an auspicious start.
Then on Monday morning Becci, and her son, Callum, and I parked at the Pub and set off to lay the run. We hadn't appreciated just how tiring the process would be, especially as we had to keep referring to the list of signs etc to make sure we were getting things right.
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| Callum supervising Becci who is burying that sawdust dot deep in the grass - that'll keep 'em busy, Becci! |
When we arrived back at the Pub we went in and reminded them that the MI H3 would be there in the evening and then we ordered some drinks and baguettes for our lunch. Our overpriced food was finally brought out to us by a very rude barman. We wanted to voice our dissatisfaction but having a whole lot of thirsty drinkers banned was not something we wanted to risk.
After lunch we set off to run the route, to check the timing and to see if we could remember the various instructions we planned, as well as making sure that the dots were visible, given we had almost run out of sawdust. It was looking good and, tired as we were, we were quite enjoying ourselves. Then the heavens opened and there was thunder and lightening! What a baptism of fire - well rain anyway.
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| So this was the cause of the sniggering when I got home sporting the drowned rat look - charming! |
All too soon 7.30pm was approaching and it was off to the Pub for the start of the Hash. Once everyone arrived it looked like there would be a fair number of both runners and walkers, despite it being the holiday season.
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| The Pub staff decided to practice some good customer relations by pouncing on one of our runners and accusing us of not telling them we were coming and taking up all the parking space 1. They were told twice 2. We are customers - that's what a pub is for 3. He was parking a bike at the time 4. We won't be coming here again!! |
True to form the Publicans displayed their ability to be unnecessarily rude and unwelcoming to the runners who would be their customers later. I was beginning to wish we could abandon their Pub and go for a drink elsewhere but it was too late now. I must remember to have another read of Bill Bryson's "Notes from a Small Island" as I'm sure this Pub must feature in it somewhere!
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| The Dog & UnPleasant |
We welcomed everyone to our 'deflowering' as Virgin Hares and warned them to be careful when on the road and to be aware that some dots might be a bit sparse as we got increasingly stingy with the sawdust as it ran out and also we got a bit creative with the signage towards the end and we were getting a bit bored.
Then we were off along Shop Lane and it wasn't long before they started moaning about "bit stingy - that's an understatement - I've not run this far before without seeing any sawdust". "They needed two bags". I'm sure we did but this early on we weren't to know we would be running out.
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| The Moaning in the gloaming begins |
Still we soon stopped and then it turned out that "you don't put a dot there" and "you've used the wrong sign". The false trailers returned but then so did the "on on"ers. I think they should have gone to Spec Savers. They just didn't spot or count the dots or look for them hard enough. We put them right and we were off again.
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| Sue knows where she's going - it's always best to follow people who are actually looking for sawdust |
They were quite a sneaky lot too as they were prone to ignoring the instructions of the sawdust dots and quite often they just did their own thing! Keeping them in order was much harder then we realised.
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| Deborah stops for some divine inspiration |
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| And finds it - there's the Dog & Pheasant at the end of that rainbow sadly, definitely not, a pot of gold |
David was impressing us all with his knowledge of the area and how many years he had been setting hashes here. It seemed we were heading for the Golf House and the water - erm, No!!
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| David telling Laura all about it...whilst Becci tries to sneak past - not in those leggings Becci! |
Having gone down a false trail we had gotten a bit behind and by the time we got to poor Becci she was so tired her brain had addled and was watching helplessly as tonight's FRB (Front-Running B**d, sorry that's Hashing for you) 'Forrest' was fast disappearing out of view in the wrong part of the field: "Run, Forrest, run". The other problem was that he had taken most of the runners with him. (In fairness to Becci I think I ought to point out here that she had been back marker at the Park Run on Saturday and then ran a Half Marathon at Clacton on Sunday before the nine miles in the morning setting the hash and then taking on the role of Hare to a bunch of running hooligans)
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| Form a nice orderly queue please - er who is that disappearing into the distance - please don't follow Forrest he won't be stopping! |
Drastic action was required and I blew several times on my emergency whistle to no avail. Then in the next instant a tiny bird like lady next to me yelled some sort of Hashing instruction at the top of her voice which was so loud it did the trick.
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| If happy little Harriers run beyond the rainbow why, oh why can't ... Forrest! |
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| Smile you're on camera! |
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| High Viz in the sunset |
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| Laura 'nicks' some sweeties whilst David carries on talking cue Jaws music - yes I think we may have hit on another 'hash'tag! |
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| Keep following David, Laura - he knows exactly where he is! |
All safely back on track we had a stop by East Mersea Village Green - all three feet square of it. I tried to give the next lot of instructions but Jaws
was (still) talking about setting hashes here and I had to do an impersonation of someone in charge and ask him to pipe down so I could be heard. Amazingly it worked and we were soon running amok up the road - most people hilariously ignoring my invitation to observe the highway code by staying on the right.
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| Here's a bit of homework - why "Bond's Green" answers on a postcard please |
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| 'Tenshun! Becci taking her duties as Hare super seriously Back pack with supplies, high viz coat for back runner duties "Step lively there Deborah - left, right, left right" We're in the Harrmy now! |
All too soon we were heading for 'Home' but not before "Forrest" had disappeared into the gloaming apparently his reasoning was: "That evening, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run in the opposite direction of the Home arrows. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across East Mersea. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Mersea Island. And that's what I did. I ran clear across the Island. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going."
Yep great "Forrest" but we want to get to the Pub for a drink.
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| Where is he? "Frank" (It's the way I tell 'em) gets impatient (he's anxious because he's got a joke to tell us back at the Pub later - ooh it was awful!) |
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| Forrest hoves into view completely unfazed by the whole why are we waiting thing |
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| Of course, if you saw this you would run the opposite way, we all understand, really, (when are the men in white coats getting here?) |
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| At last Forrest and his followers head for home |
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| After the 'sucking lemon' faces of the staff some of us were glad to see there was an emergency exit at The Dog & Pheasant |
Out of the mouth of babes:
- "I told my daughter: if those cats on YouTube can use a toilet then you can" (H3 potty training methods)
- "Hares don't usually run the course beforehand" (now they tell you)
- "Hares don't have to do a two dot run back" (after you've done it of course)
- "He saw the arrows on the Home sawdust but went the opposite way instead" (!)
- Posted on Facebook:
The Usual Stats:
That's all for this week folks - no hashing for me next Monday but with any luck I might get Becci to guest host for us!
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